Last Supper Syndrome and Terror on the Zip Line

In January 2010, about one month before I was scheduled to have my surgery, I boarded the "Oasis of the Seas" bound for St. Thomas, St. Maarten, and the Bahamas. I was so excited. The shopping, island tours, exotic scenery, and of course, the FOOD. It had easily been 20 years, and more than 200 lbs, since I had last been on a cruise. Forget the sugar plums, I had visions of midnight buffets, virgin Pina Coladas, singing waiters, and three course meals in the formal dining room dancing in my head. When I think back to my vacation on the open sea, I'm reminded of what I did not do (well...let's be honest...what I COULD not do) and how much more fulfilling my experience would have been had my life not revolved around food.

Our stateroom had a view of the the boardwalk and each time I stood outside I saw people flying through the air on the zipline. Even with the door closed, I could hear the onlookers cheering for each person that zoomed by. Don't get me wrong, I knew well before we left that I would be able to do little more than watch the activity on the zipline. You see, the zip line had a weight limit and I was approximately 59 pounds away from that high-flying, free wheeling feeling. So, in true addict form, I convinced myself that I didn't want to do something as crazy as a zip line when I could go downstairs and eat chili cheese fries at the Johnny Rocket's.

Now, I can see those mind games for what they are. Before it was like I was in the midst of the battle for my life and had no idea that the ref had blown the whistle signaling that the game had begun. The cheese fries and fried shrimp were making baskets at the other end of the court and I was still on the sideline trying to stuff my swollen feet into my sneakers. Today, thanks to my RNY, I'm suited up and ready to play. It doesn't mean I won't get dunked on every now and then, but it does mean I can shake it off, keep playing, and celebrate lots of successes along the way because now, I'm officially IN THE GAME. By the way, now, just over three months since my surgery, and 70 pounds lighter, I am free and clear to use the zipline. So please trust that the next time I don't fly high it will be because I chose not to, not because I let my poor choices make the decision for me.

Choose to Live